“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
To love is to be vulnerable.”
An autumn walk, the golden hour sunshine and a hyper active dog. I took a picture of a little spiderweb. It looked like it was made out of pure silver. And for just a moment nothing else existed in the world, except for the warm sunshine and that tiny little miracle of nature.
That’s why I am writing this blog.
To catch those every day moments of wonder. Whether it is the breath-taking sky from last night or that tiny spider web. Most of my days are spend writing cover letters, updating my CV and basically wondering what the next step in my life will be. This is the first year in my life that is not somehow planned. I have no schedule. There is an endless list of possibilities and I am not quite sure which opportunities will come next.
Tomorrow I will celebrate my 24th birthday. Only a few days ago I was complaining about how being 24 seems like nothing special. You’re not anywhere close to 21 anymore, so pretending you’re still a bit of a teenager won’t foul anyone. But you’re also not 25 yet. Jeeij, one more year of hope before it all starts going downhill from there. You know, quarter life crisis and all.
So I googled the number twenty-four. Found some pretty exciting things about that number. Most of it is complicated math stuff, that I don’t understand, but check out tomorrow’s Day 1 post to found out more.
I want this year to be a special one. Recently I have heard of so many people around me dealing with grief, loss, depression and you name it. Turn on the tv, open a newspaper and this world doesn’t seem that pretty and nice anymore. And yes, I could curl myself up on the couch with some tea and watch all the episodes of Friends again being sad about being unemployed. I can also challenge myself and do something that I will remember for the rest of my life.
How I am going to do that?
Here it is. 365 pictures with a story. 1 story every 24 hours. I am going to document the little things in life that I love. For 1 entire year. My 24th year.
I am not choosing a specific topic or a specific theme. I am basically going to let my own creativity come up with ideas. Using my senses, just going through every day, exactly the same way as before, yet this time with the focus of finding something special about it.
These will be stories about what I love about the simple 24 hours of every day. They will be stories about who I am, what I believe in and what I live for. I don’t know yet how long every post will be. How people will respond or simply how I am going to come up with 365 decent stories to share. I can’t tell you yet where this journey will take me, but if you stick with me, you will find out.
What’s in it for you?
To be honest with you. I am terrified. I am scared of opening up my life in pictures and stories. Will I just be one of those other perfect people on social media? With blogs where everything is just perfect. No typos, no boring days, just perfection in every single post. But then, you get to see that everywhere. Because all the twenty-something people around you have a perfect job, a perfect face, a perfect boyfriend and a perfect everything else.
I am going to work hard on this blog to give you an honest story about the search of an ordinary 24-year-old young woman. Looking for a job. Doing a research project in Ethiopia. Spending Christmas with people she loves. But I won’t lie if I find it hard to love something about a day that is just absolutely not going as I hoped it would. When I get another ‘no’ on a job that I was really excited about. Because that is what love really is.
To be vulnerable.
Like C.S. Lewis described in his book ‘Four Loves’. We all have a choice. Either we love everything in the world and end up with a broken heart. Or we make sure it is safe of loving at all. So we avoid the broken heart, but we end up with an unbreakable heart. I choose to share these 365 stories with you to prove a point to myself. That I shouldn’t only tell others (a.k.a. Clinton 2016’ers) to be vulnerable, but that I should live out my own words. Well, actually Lewis’ words. You get the point.
Or I hope you will in a year from now. About being vulnerable. Letting love build you instead of break you or make you unbreakable.
Hopefully you will find it intriguing enough to join my journey. This project started with a simple autumn walk, a few days before my 24th birthday. I can’t wait to see where it takes me. But I guess I’ll find out, just like you will. By 1 story every 24 hours. 365 stories written by a 24-year-old.