So instead of getting ready to get on a plane, I am in my parents’ kitchen. I am drawing. Nature scenes like the one of the picture of today are probably my favourite to draw, because of their simplicity. Just a few lines and shades of different colours and you have a clear landscape in your sketchbook. I am making this one for a friend of mine to remind her of a home far away.
I could be doing so many other things instead. Somewhere a little voice in the back of my head tells me I should maybe write another cover letter or find information on another traineeship. Do you know that feeling of having to justify your own behaviour? Not to someone else necessarily, but mainly to yourself. Last week I wrote about rest and how I love being on my own. I really do, but sometimes I find it hard to allow myself to take that moment to let my hands get covered in the dust of pastels.
I think a lot of us have become restless in a way. If you read about generation Y and their characteristics, you will learn that they are the ones who love jumping around from project to project. We are apparently easily bored or frustrated with what we are doing and are constantly looking for new opportunities. I recognize myself in that description. However I have also experienced over the past weeks of rest that I need to take breaks too. After five years of studying this time of rest, reassessing where my life is going is so needed.
Most days I am really enjoying my rest and time away from responsibilities and endless readings. Yet some days I need to force myself to just enjoy drawing in silence. One thing I realised again today is that I am work in progress. Just like my art.