Day 101 – Time to mourn

First of all, I am blown away by all the support on Facebook. So many positive responses and in these busy times, it might indeed be a much easier way to follow my daily journey through this year. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 

Today was a very mixed feelings type of day. My plan was to go to work this morning. (I still owe you a proper explanation of my new job. Maybe tomorrow!) Bu today was my first visit at location. A museum that is in transition to the schedule in which people plan themselves for work, but things aren’t going very smooth yet. After that I hopped on the train and went to the other side of the country to surprise my mum for her birthday. I arranged it all behind her back, so she really didn’t know until I stepped into the kitchen. Huge success! So the rest of my evening was spent with people I love. Now I am on my way back to my own home. 

So that was the happy side of my day. Just like I had planned. But after a night in which I didn’t sleep well, I woke up to terrible news. A girl I knew from secondary school had a car accident yesterday. Help came quick, but too late. She was 24 years old. 

Every day we hear about people dying. But it all seems so far away. That lady in her nineties at church or another bomb attack at a market in Baghdad. It doesn’t get to me anymore. I hear about it and send up a quick prayer ‘Lord, be merciful’ and go on with my day. Like nothing happened. 

But something about this accident is different. We went to the same secondary school. She was 24, just like me. She just started with a new job, just like me. I could have been her. Crashed against that tree. Life ended in a minute. There never would have been a blog titled Day 101. 

But there is one. Yesterday was about celebrating and happiness. Today much of those feelings were still there or there again, but also that overwhelming other feeling. Life can be over tomorrow, so today I travelled for 5 hours, simply to surprise my mum and say ‘happy birthday’ in person, because I love her. Maybe you are reading this today and maybe no one has told you ‘I love you’ today. Well here it is: I love you. 

I love you for taking time to read this little story. I love you simply because no matter if I know you personally or not, you are worth it to be loved. If you don’t believe me, take a minute to listen to the song that I played on the piano earlier today. The original version of Kari Jobe’s ‘I am not alone’ is much better than my own version, but the sentiment is clear. This song is what I needed to sing to myself today. Because through all the brokenness of this world, in which also the life of 24 year-old can end suddenly, there is hope. Because I believe no one is ever truly alone. 

Today was a day filled with celebration. A time for joy and dancing. But today was also a time to mourn and weep. There is a time for everything. If you are given time today and tomorrow and the day after that I hope you use it well. I hope you start with telling someone else that they matter. That they are not alone.

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