I miss home. And by home, I mean where I grew up. Apart from a couple months in the fall I haven’t really lived there for five years. That was no problem at all. I have lived in the most extraordinary places during those past five years. I have loved every second of it. Living on my own suits me well. But I have to admit that I really enjoy coming home for a visit and not having to think about laundry or cooking for a little while. Last weekend I spent a bit of time at home again after a month or so. As soon as I stepped into the freshly painted kitchen, dinner was ready and I could just eat along.
Tonight, I really missed home. I have been homesick before. Especially when I left home for the first time at age fifteen. I was so young. I had never spent time in another country on my own before. The only contact I had with home was a fifteen-minute phone call every week. Looking back, so much has changed already. Now we can text and see live status updates from all around the world at any time. It makes it so much easier to stay connected. But that doesn’t mean missing gets less.
I don’t know why it hit me today though. Maybe because work was going slow and I could listen to the radio. All those hit songs from blonde and ginger English dudes with guitars keep coming back every hour. As they sing about driving at ninety down those country lanes or remembering the fairground while having butterflies, it makes me think about my own moments back home. Maybe it’s the realization that I will leave soon and not be home for a while, that makes me miss it now. It wouldn’t be the first time that I would miss home before I left instead of while I am away.
There is one thing I know about homesickness. It isn’t just about being sad or lonely. Homesickness for me is the idea that there are people that I love and that love me, they’re just not close by at that instant. Feeling a slight bit of homesickness encourages me to express that love just a bit more when I have a chance to be close. Even if it’s just through a videocall or quick text. Homesickness reminds that I have a home. A home that I can always return too, no matter what happens. And that makes me incredibly lucky.