It still feels surreal. It hasn’t quite sunken in yet. I am leaving for East Africa soon. To a place where there is hunger. People are starving. To a place where there is war and never peace. People are on the run. In the news, they are talking about millions of people that don’t have food. The sun is curse to them. The world is on fire, while I am enjoying my last days of spring at home. That feels weird. Surreal even.

During the past days I have been preparing. Intensely. To the point that I was completely done with it and didn’t want to continue anymore. I want it all to be over. Just let me go. Give me a ticket and put me on a plane.

But most days I had this feeling of excitement. Now everything is almost packed and ready, it comes back stronger. The realisation that I am leaving for a year is very slowly sinking in. And I am ready. I am looking forward to this next step in my life.

And that’s so weird. I feel a slight guilt for being excited. On day 162 I wrote about what I am going to do in the next year. But to cut a long story short, I am basically going to start my career in humanitarian aid and development cooperation. Putting my life and skills in service of millions of people that don’t have a home anymore or that are forced to start a new life. Noting to be happy about. Not something I am glad it exists, so jeeij, I can help. (I meant that sarcastically in case you didn’t catch that.)

So this is the surreal feeling. Being excited about the next step in my life and moving to Uganda soon. But also feeling a bit guilty about that excitement, because there the crisis in East Africa is very real. Maybe this should be on my list of learning objectives. How do you build a professional life with a healthy and balanced emotional involvement?

For now I don’t have the answer. And I think that’s okay.