Day 214 – Winning and losing

Every story has two sides. Every moment in life has that moment of feeling like an absolute winner and then totally losing on the other side. Feeling like that I master something and then the next moment I have no clue what I am doing. In that sense hiking is a great metaphor for life. It gives that physical feeling of winning and losing in the heartbeat in your veins and the sweat on your face. Winning and losing. Within the same breath cycle.

Feeling stretched between two ends of the spectrum.

Being a winner and a total loser.

But awesome feeling about it is, that I am feeling so alive. So incredibly alive.

That make sense if I am feeling like I am mastering my new work tasks. I guess we all like to feel alive when we feel great. When everything is going uphill. Positive. Thumbs up. Alive.

But what about the moments that you are totally losing it. Feel like you have no grip on the situation. The only way is down the mountain on your butt before the thunderstorm. Especially in those moments, I have learned to love it. Go through it. Explore the brokenness and grow.

Winning and losing.

I am learning so much in my new life, in a new country. But I am also starting to realise that I am losing. Realising that I am not perfect. So utterly broken sometimes. Closer to my heartbeat. My breath cycle.

Even though it hurts. (And yes, my legs hurt like crazy after that 3000+ meter mountain.)

But after a big thunderstorm, the sun will shine again.

And send you beautiful rainbows as a gift of joy and colour. A gift of being alive.

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