Day 229 – Relieved

So how do I get unstuck? How do I make the right decision?

I must admit that I’ve always been really good at putting pressure on myself. As much as I want to give myself time and space to come to well-founded decisions, it always feels too slow or too fast. Too much worry or too much impulsiveness. When it comes to making decisions I always look back with appreciation and never really doubted that I made awful choices, but still… Somewhere in the back of my mind, I am terribly scared of doing the wrong thing or taking the wrong path.

-Me, Day 203

I wrote this about a month ago. The picture of that day was my first little green plant popping up. Now look at the row of plants that are growing strong and steady! I am happy, smiling and feeling strong today. Just like my plants. Decisions are falling into place. Work is getting done. Proposals are written. Life moves on.

And not just for me. Life is happening for beautiful people around me too. I just got a message from one of my most special people in the world about a new job. Life is moving on. In it’s fullest, brightest and most powerful ways. Growth cannot be stopped, limited or held back. So how do you know a decision is right? You honestly don’t. You just have to go with it. Like you don’t know if tomorrow the sun is going to shine or it’s going to rain. Just let it happen. Let life happen.

Maybe there isn’t such a thing as right or wrong choices. Okay, I believe in right and wrong. But when it comes to decisions in life, it’s often not black and white. Then life is much more like a road leading to you a destination, but with endless possiblities turning left, right, back or move straight on. Life is living on the road.

And yes, there are turning points. Decisions to be made. Even for perfectionist millennials like me that moment when you know for sure which way to turn, is a relief. Because then it’s a matter of simply accepting what is. Letting life to you to the next turning point.

This might all sound super vague. A lot of filosophical talk about life and choices and turning points. But today I am writing just for me. Because I know that I need to capture this positive energy in words now. Because I am sure I am going to need this blog at some point in the future. To tell myself that it’s okay to have to be patient and wait along the way. That choices will fall into the right place and that life is moving on. I am moving on. Growing and shining light through the cracks of my beautiful, broken heart.

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