Day 233 – Body and I are not friends today.

Yesterday and today for sure haven’t been my finished days in Uganda. I don’t know what happened to my body, but for some reason, it decided to not be friendly to me and basically throw out every bit of food there was inside. I never really had a food poisoning like that. In general, I don’t really get the travelbugs. I don’t even know what caused it. Either way, my night wasn’t great. I didn’t really want to write a blog in Dutch, so I skipped yesterday and now I am too exhausted to catch up. 

So when I just opened my instagram after a long day of travelling and working, I smiled at the following quote:

Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose.

Brene Brown

I don’t think she is talking about physical vulnerabilities, but that’s what it reminded me of. Cause I had my purpose for this week. Going to Arua, getting digital M&E going and learning about capacity building by simply doing it. I wasn’t going to let anything stop me. Even the worst food poisoning. How thankful I was today that I got a spot on the plane, rather than having to travel by car across the country.

Staying positive. Yet allowing for the weakness to simply be there. I woke up a couple times during the night. My normal instinct would be to get a little frustrated with myself, but for some reason I knew that wasn’t going to work today. I needed my body to just be vulnerable. Through accepting that I noticed I was able to sleep well in between waking up.

Mind and body. The seem to be in a fight sometimes. Contrasting. Like the wall and the trees. Sometimes my body and my soul are enemies rather than friends. 

The day has ended now. I am sleeping in a different bed tonight. Hopefully I don’t need a bucket beside it. Sometimes I wish my body would be stronger, tougher, and easier to take care of. Yet I think developing the strongest body you can possible have is to learn to love it fully. Even when it’s not being your friend for a day. Even when you just want to throw it out of the window or leave it in bed while you go do your work, we simply have to be our bodies. Engaging with the vulnerabilities as they come and go. Embracing even the bits that we absolutely don’t like. 

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