Day 251 – Science of love

What is love? What is it really? I woke up at 6 am today. Didn’t even need my alarm clock. Just to remember that I had two Skype dates. One with three lovely girls in South America. One coming up with a friend in Norway. All camp people, therefore the love is endless. It’s been a year since I met some of these girls. It’s been almost ten years since I met some of these friends. They are always there. No matter where I am in the world. The only thing that matters is that connection. I am so happy we have the internet.

Love. Friendship. Connection.

All these powerful words.

And then there’s the romantic part of it. I am not even sure if that’s the right word. Because love isn’t always romantic. It’s hard work. It’s tough and challenging. It puts you on the edge of your seat and will always keep you engaged with life. Love is fascinating.

Every year around June I watch Before Sunrise. It’s one of my favourite movies in the world. Especially if you watch the sequels which follow Jesse and Celine after 9 years and then again after another 9 years. If you haven’t watched these movies, I highly recommend them. Sit down with a good friend or significant other. Get some wine ready and simply get absorbed in the love story between this boy and girl that meet on a train in Vienna.

As much fun and light as the first movie is, things get a bit more serious in the second one. I don’t want to give away too many spoilers, but there is this discussion in the car between the two about love. Life sort of got in the way for the both of them. Love hurts. It disappoints. Just found the clip on YouTube. Go watch it. (Also credits go to those that made this awesome movie!)

And, did you watch it? What do you think?

Okay, I am not sure how realistic the original story is. Two strangers. One night in a foreign city. It is a bit romanticised, right? But then I stumbled upon this podcast from the New York Times in which an essay is read about a 36 questions experiment. It’s not really new I think, but I found it fascinating. It’s based on an academic research project about interpersonal connection. And since I have a psychology degree I find any of these types of studies super interesting. Anyways, in the essay, the author talks about these 36 questions that you ask to a stranger in a period of 90 minutes. And then you both stare into each other’s eyes for 4 months. And bam. Magic happens. Apparently, lots of people have done this and have fallen in love. Fascinating, huh?

I looked up the questions. And yes, it sort of does make sense to me. The questions are designed in such a way that they create intimacy and vulnerability. With the right mindset, the desire to fall in love and a good date night, I guess it could work. Some part of me wants to try it out now. But the other part of me wants to simply be like Jesse and Celine. Just meet that one person that you resonate with. Connect with. That person that you can talk to for much longer than 90 minutes. Without needing 36 pre-designed questions. And yes, there probably still is a lot of science when it comes to love.

But in the end, love doesn’t always make sense. It makes you wake up at 6 am to talk to people on the other side of the globe. Simply because you love them.


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