Day 300 – Dependency

For a very long time, probably as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be independent. Do my own thing, preferably without any help. This blogging adventure started that way too. Somewhere I wanted to prove to myself that I didn’t need anyone to become a writer. That I could just do it on my own.

And yes, to so extend, I have done this on my own. For 300 freaking days so far. And that in itself is quite an achievement. And heck yes, I am pretty proud of that.

But if I am being really honest with myself and with you. It hasn’t been my achievement at all that made this happen. It’s been you. The one on the readers’ side of the story. My family. My friends. My random stranger that found my blog and have been following my adventures through daily life with me. My stories are dependent on you.

It’s not just about the reading part of it though.

It’s about providing me with the love and support in everything. I remember writing blog post 200. I had just been in Uganda for a couple weeks. Everything was still very new. I travelled to Arua on that day. This morning I woke up in that same place. Yet with 100 days in between. 100 days filled with new people, a lot of learning, incredibly beautiful moments that I will cheris forever and also a few very hard ones that will shape and form me in the days to come.

But it wouldn’t have been the same if I would have had to do it all on my own. I realise now that it’s because of everyone around me that I get to be in a relationship with, form connections with and learn from that I am who I am.

And God.

He provides. A text this morning reminded me that that’s all I need. As much as I struggle to be independent, I know that my heart, my soul and my life isn’t mine. I am dependent. I am in relationship.

And all I have to do is simply open my hands and say: “I can’t do life on my own. I need you.”

Thank you for teaching me that being dependent is not a bad thing at all. That is makes me stronger, more vulnerable and also a richer person. Because of you. Thank you. For sticking with me. For 300 days.

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