I think it was Gandhi who said that the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.
Sometimes I wish that wasn’t true. In the end I do think there’s an element of breaking, sacrifice and service in love. Any type of love. Yes, we can probably have long debates about this. About identity, what it means to be human. How do you find your place in this world?
All topics of discussion during my dinner today. I wasn’t planning on going out. I just wanted a quiet evening on my own. After an early morning talk with a friend half way across the world, I made myself a good breakfast. Did some yoga, like I do almost every morning. Not feeling my balance today in my right side. It’s interesting how I’ve gotten to know my body better through yoga exercises and how it differs a bit every single day. Then I did some travelling prep, started cleaning and made myself a sandwich in between. I did some grocery shopping and got myself a very big, red watermelon. A very relaxing yet productive Saturday. And it ended with a really nice dinner.
Somewhere in the past week I felt I was getting close to a boundary. One in which I felt that I was losing myself a bit in work. Giving so much that I couldn’t really feel connected to myself anymore. And as much as I love my job, and I really do, I told myself I needed to rest. Losing yourself in service to others can also really prohibit you from finding yourself. At least for me it can.
So here am I.
In bed, finishing up my blog. On a Saturday filled with self-care. A lot later than expected, yet with a heart that is a little more at peace again. In the steady, comfortable pace that allows finding myself again. Restorative breath, an openness to new people and engaged with the world around me.