I just came home. I went out for a coffee with a friend. A sister. We resisted the coffee and cake part and drank some healthy juices instead. It’s a simple hour of fellowship and trusting ourselves into the hands of God. As we sit in the quiet restaurant, it’s a time in which my busy heart finds peace. As I walk home, the sun sets and night sets in.
I come home. I cut myself a piece of watermelon. And I turn on my phone. I love to listen to music when I am alone at home. The first song that starts playing is called ‘Slow down’ from Out of the Dust:
What are you running from
What are you running towards
What has your life become
What are you searching for
Life can have such sad distractions
Why can’t we be still and…
Catch a breath and breath now
See the ending, ask the question
Will this matter then
What am I doing
Consider your state of mind
Is this where you saw yourself
Is your heart content
Or do you need something else
Peace will find you in the quiet
Everything else can wait so…
Slow down – Out of the Dust
And I just start laughing. It’s exactly what I had just been talking about with my friend and what we prayed about. That I need to slow down. And not worry if work doesn’t get finished before I have a break. Things will all be fine. Also without me. I need to shut down the perfectionism in me and simply do whatever I can.
And that’s enough.
God has humour though. I didn’t ask for that song. Or maybe I did. Because I had just prayed about it like 20 minutes earlier. To accept that slowing down is okay.
It reminded me of the day back in May when I rushed down a mountain to escape a thunderstorm. And we did make it back just in time. Covered in mud, sweat and tears from climbing for 9 hours. The rain poured out just minutes after we got back.
But then we went home (actually to the office, but that place is like home), and what normally is a little stream turned into a wild river because of the rain on the mountain. (There’s supposed to be a bridge, but that has been broken for years now, I think.) So there was nothing else to do but wait. Slow down. Literally. I remember standing on what had just become a river bank. Looking at the water in front. Looking at the stars and the moon above. Finding a bit of peace in the quiet.
But somewhere in the past few months, I’ve fallen back into my old comfortable pattern of always being with my mind on work. On the next thing to do. On the next step. I guess that slowing down and learning to accept that whatever can’t be finished today will get done tomorrow or the day after or the week after, will be a battle I will fight for the rest of my life.
And that’s okay too.
Luckily God has a good sense of humour. And He reminds me sometimes to just stop. Everything else can wait so…