Day 357 – Maggie and maps

I woke up from the birds. Like a usual morning. It’s a little past 7. Slept an hour longer than usual. I am struggling to get out of bed. Turn around a couple times more in my squeaky sounding small bed. Appreciative of the little house I get to live in. Looking forward to a day I get a share a bed with someone (who knows what the future holds, right?) I eventually get up, make myself some tea. Eat my usual morning breakfast with yoghurt, fruit and muesli. I grab my favourite magazine that my mum sent me this week. I try to read one or two articles at the time, just so I can enjoy it for a while.

I open to a page with an interview with Maggie Doyne. As I look into her eyes, it’s like I see a reflection of myself. It brings back words that were spoken yesterday during a lunch meeting: “you are definitely one of the most driven almost 25-year-olds I have ever met.” Do I feel encouraged by these words? I think so. Do I feel inspired by Maggie Doyne and her sustainable village, home to hundreds of kids in Nepal? Absolutely. This young lady, who I first heard about in a Dutch travel programme, lost a young baby boy that was like a son to her. She wanted to escape life and spent a couple months depressed in bed. Until people told her again to get out of bed. To let the sunshine, touch her face. And then she fell in love.

Her story is inspiring. Her commitment, her passion, living out her dream. Reliving her happy childhood is something I want to do too. I just don’t always know how. Neither does Maggie probably.

Is it a lazy Saturday morning in which my yoga class is canceled and I want to finish some tiny bits of work leftover from the week. I sort of do. But then I don’t. I roll out my yoga mat outside and do a good half hour of stretches, planks and downward dogs. It’s almost 10.30 already. I am not sure if I woke up completely rested.

So, I do a bit of a Google search on my next trip in Uganda. Then I mop my floor and make myself some coffee and French toast, with the dry bread from my freezer that only really works half the time.

I turn off my phone. Well, the internet at least. It’s not working anyways. Network issues. But also because I just simply have enough of that thing. I need to rest somehow and I don’t know how. So I want to turn off my phone. Escape.

It’s the end of the afternoon. I called a friend. “Please just take me out of the house now.” We were already supposed to go out later today, so that’s what we did. She picked me up and we just left. Escaped. And at one of the social gatherings, we were at, I spoke about balance. And then another friend texted me, asking me about that same work-private life balance. I honestly love a life in which things are not so clear-cut. When there is a mix, a healthy back-and-forth type of thing. Because you love what you do and you are what you do.

It’s my battle. The one I have been fighting all my life and one that I think I will be fighting for a bit longer. But this blog over the past year has helped me in many ways to see it again.  This blog has been a deeply personal exploration of my personality. A continuous mirror into my soul and a map of my character. That why the words of Anne Bogel, struck a chord with me today.

“Understanding personality is like holding a good map. That map can’t take you anywhere. It doesn’t change your location; you’re still right where you were before. But the map’s purpose isn’t to move you; it’s to show you the lay of the land. It’s the tool that makes it possible for you to get where you want to go.”

Okay, forgot those heavy words again. But I think it’s these words and reading the story about Maggie Doyne that made me realize today that escaping isn’t the answer. But turning off for a little while often is. Mapping myself is probably a never-ending journey. Switching off helps though. And if there is one thing I learned through writing for 357 days is that’s okay to not always deliver, be on time, be the very best version of yourself. Honesty, admitting to needing help and being vulnerable are just as much part of the map of me.

Now let’s read the next article in that magazine. About the Danish secret for happiness. Have a lovely weekend everyone!


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