It is so dark outside. It is so cold. Even the stars don't shine through the mist tonight. I saw a vague moon when I biked through the December darkness. I only see the stars of wood next to the candle. Reflecting the light instead of being the source.
Today is the first Sunday of Advent. It's a time of waiting, expecting and anticipating until we celebrate the birth of Jesus at Christmas. Exactly at the moment when I couldn't be more frustrated with waiting, that's what a church community world wide is going to do. The new liturgical year starts with a month of waiting. In a way that helps me to put things into perspective. Just at the moment when I am completely done with it, I am confronted with learning to change waiting into expecting.
Yesterday I spent my day working on a project proposal. Even though I don't miss the days writing and rewriting behind my laptop from my studying days, because it makes me tired to stare at a screen. It makes me wonder what it is that I am willing to keep doing that again and again. I've been giving it some thought and if there is one thing that I have learned over the past few weeks is that I need purpose.
The first 50 days are over! I freaking did it. Wrote 50 blogs so far. And you know what? I am proud of myself for sticking with it. This weekend I visited one of my dear camp sisters in Maastricht. I wrote about that yesterday. She asked me: "how do you keep finding inspiration?" Being at day 50, I decided to engage with that question. How do I find inspiration to write? To be very honest with you, it's as simple as making a choice to write about what happens. Observing the little things in life, like the sun breaking through the clouds while crossing the river in Maastricht and connecting those observations to wider thoughts somewhere floating around in my mind.
I spend my Monday morning on the phone with one of my favourite government organisations regarding my student grants. A bit of patience however brings you a long way and luckily most of the issues got resolved immediately. For the other one I still have to wait 5 more days at least. After a weekend filled with people, building relationships and focusing on worship and learning, it's Monday again. Outside it's grey and dark. A true November day. Monday mornings are not the favourite kind of day for most people. Yet there is something special about this morning compared to the other ones in the week. A new week for work is about to start. It's an open gate.
What I love about hosting people at my home, is that you get to explore and appreciate your own home town again. It's like a mini-stay-at-home-vacation. So today a trip to our local museum was planned in between drinking coffee with refugees, groceries and thrift store shopping. Although I've been there plenty of times already, one story stuck with me today. An account of a young brave woman acting in World War II, hidden in a winter coat.