Little writing update: I just realized that I passed 1/3 of the year without really paying attention to it. In the beginning I had this feeling of achievement quite often. Writing for two weeks, a month and 50 days. Okay, the 100th blog was a little special. But now I just seem to keep going without paying much attention to the actual number of the day. As a matter of fact, I don’t really mind either. I am still enjoying the writing process. Some days it goes easier than others, but overall I am starting to see how thoughts that already would be in my head finally have a place to land on a daily basis.
This morning I cycled to work. It was raining, which isn't very uncommon in January in the Netherlands. Cold and wet I arrived at the office and I wasn't the only one that wasn't too happy with the grey and rainy day. Complaining about weather is something that the Dutch are very good in. But complaining doesn't necessarily make you a happier and positive person.
I never like winter that much. It's cold. It's dark. People get sick. Never enough energy. I wish I was one of those hibernating bears. A whole season of sleep sounds great. But yesterday, someone triggered me to reconsidering the winter season. A speaker in church talked about life in different seasons and how you go through all them at some point and sometimes all at the same time. "Winter" he said, "is a season of rest." So based on his own experience he went through a period of grief, loss and heartache in fall and got to rest during winter.
I love living in Utrecht again. It has the perfect size, a beautiful old city center and everything that you would want in a city. It became home during my first years of studying. So now I am back again. I cycle around from work to train station to friends and back to home. But there is one thing that I miss about the city. The thing that I fell in love again with when I moved back home in the fall: being around in nature all the time.
Earlier this month I wrote about participating in #Dressember. A world wide movement of women (and men) who were dresses every day in December to raise awareness and money in order to restore dignity to all women. I wrote about it on one of the first days of December, I think. Anyways, it's 17 December today, so we are a little over halfway. So here are some of my personal reflections.
I don't know about you, but I miss the summer. I miss a lot of things about it, but amongst those are fresh fruits. I consider myself being very lucky, because I got to grow up surrounded by fresh fruits and vegetables. Although I never really knew what it was like to grow up without it, I took it for granted.
It is so dark outside. It is so cold. Even the stars don't shine through the mist tonight. I saw a vague moon when I biked through the December darkness. I only see the stars of wood next to the candle. Reflecting the light instead of being the source.
Today I scolded myself a little bit. I can often by quite hard on myself, but in general I am pretty much at ease with myself. But that wasn't what I felt last week, because it was mainly tiredness, frustration with a touch of feeling hopeless. Forgetting to just look around and admire the splendor of December days. So that's what I told myself to do. Even though it's cold outside, this magical frozen world is there to be seen and admired.
I am really cold. It's freezing all day long and I can't stand it. I am not very much a person that is made for cold. My body doesn't really handle it to well. Stuffed noses, freezing fingers and energy-levels of a bear in his winter sleep. I'm not sure if I could go a few months without eating or drinking, but the idea of crawling into a nice hole and just sleeping is nice. At least the cold has been complimented with some beautiful blue skies and sunny days.